Dearest reader,

In the brazen heat of summer, my adversary grows bold.

Since my last missive, this child has reached the supposedly tender age of six months. Tender—ha! No such word befits a boy so vicious in his cunning. He purports to be an adorable babe, matchless in virtue, maudlin in cuteness. Do not believe his lies.

His vocabulary has expanded. Though he speaks in wordless cries, those cries take on such varied tenors as to imitate human speech. I have learned the terms for such noises: gurgle, gasp, babble, squeal, and—most disturbingly—giggle. This child expressed such strange joy in being swung about with reckless abandon by his uncle, I could scarcely believe my ears.

Naturally, my companions though he was “cute.” Fools, all.

On the days I toil, we have blessed relief. The locals have a peculiar custom—they call it “daycare”—in which adults subject themselves to caring for these cretinous youths for hours on end. A profession, yes, but they also call it a pleasure! The child has bewitched them with whines and wiles, and I fear my dignity is yet the sole survivor of his spellcraft.

Even in this, I am uncertain. For in the early morn, when I tend to the child’s needs, I find myself…and I struggle to pen these words…singing to him. Popular tunes from my youth and melodic nonsense pours from my vocal cords to soothe this savage creature, which only brings forth burbles of vacuous joy.

Reader, do I confess? Do I share the secrets of my weary heart? It appears I have no choice but to reveal this truth: I love him. And I will love him for all my days.

My dignity has died after all.

In lieu of flowers, please send your financial well-wishes to my preferred vendors in exchange for an electronic book, or perhaps to those noble and Amazonian merchants with whom I ply my wares. For those who have contributed, please send your essays of enjoyment to the Goodreads forum.

And pray for me. For one day, this child will learn to WALK.

Yours truly and tiredly,

Addison Horner
Commander, Baby Rearing Battalion, Second Pacifying Division

Writing Updates

SPOOKY SEQUEL // Beta reading is going splendidly. I’ve received some great feedback already, mostly focused on fixing typos or clarifying confusion. In a couple of weeks, I’ll begin applying that feedback to the manuscript.

I’ve also begun formatting the manuscript! Here’s a redacted sample, including a hint of the new map I had designed!

I’m excited to share more details—title, map, chapter headers, and more—very soon! And coming next month is the biggest announcement yet.

SPOOKY THREEQUEL // Revisions on the first draft started this week! I categorized my revision notes by priority; now I’m going through them all, from big-picture issues to scene details. If all goes well, this baby’s going off to an editor in November.